I just watched this and it made me think...

So I've just finished working for a carnival in Australia, I'm tired after my long hours and trying to plan my next move is exciting me but also turning me into a glorified zombie, I mean I ate half a pack of m&m's just because my friend on the phone said he was eating some, the logic there.

I'm sat on Facebook as a ploy of something to do before dinner (isn't my life just thrilling), but I watch something that stirs me, usually I fly through Facebook unamused and bored as its 80% videos these days but 2 acquaintances had shared this video that said: "Every woman should watch this". Now I'm not usually dragged into this sort of thing, but I stopped, I watched it, have a look yourself:

It reminded me of when I would trawl through magazines for inspiration at university. I remember thinking how every damn model was perfect and how after every photoshoot I did I was suppose to edit these beautiful women into unobtainable visions of beauty. Now, I never went as far as others, they were still 'flawed' shall we say but with smoother skin and less moles perhaps but after sometime I stopped. In my third year I looked at distortion and I said to hell with fake images, I acomplished distortion in camera and threaded into my project that I was no longer distorting beauty, that through distortion I would not be photoshopping these girls to be smoother, longer, skinner, beautiful-er in the eyes of magazines. As after all doing fashion photography, the idea would be that my editorials would be for magazines. I would still colour correct and even skin tone, being that some of my shoots I might not have gotten the lighting correct, but I wanted to convey that natural beauty is no distortion. I was criticised in my final review with some experts from the field that my model had a crease in her skin, natural of course, from where she was at an angle turning her body to me. It was explained that in this field this would be picked up and removed as it wasn't in keeping with style of fashion photography. Which is a joke, I tried to explain that was the point at the time, but to be honest, being told my a professional that a line wasn't acceptable just made me think forget it.

So this video has made me think again, I've been keeping up with Iskra Lawrence and the #everyBODYisbeautiful and many Aerie campaigns. It is becoming more normal to be different, to have flaws, to not be the size of a model. Every time I look in the mirror I have to remind myself that its a journey and to love myself, look at parts and be proud. Its taken me a long time to get to this stage, and I'm still not perfect at it, but I'm better. And its beautiful to watch this evolve, I can thank Instagram for my better body confidence, social media at its greatest. Not magazines or advertising, yet. This is my thought, Oskar has laid it out so simply, a magazine that either doesn't rely on advertising - oh wait thats a silm chance - or a magazine that only has positive advertising, to make brands change. A magazine thats full of body love, self worth and positivity for being unique, to celebrate all these things, not tear them down. There will always be haters, but if there could be some sort of magazine that strives apart, that wants to be different, that wants to empower women not shame and squash them into a ball, then maybe it will keep helping the ball of change rolling.

Just a thought.

I have to go back to go forward

I am going to start at the beginning of my journey, because I would like to one day read back over it and remember all I have done, therefore I have to go backward to go forward..
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November 2015 I decided to change the course of my life.
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Seems like a rather definite sentence, but it is true, I texted R, my friend about a deal at STA and we went in after work and booked flights to Australia, for a year. It seemed rather a blur, I wanted a change, I wanted to see some of the world, to mix up what was becoming a very miserable work life. So I did it.

Then came telling everyone, parents and friends were fine, ecstatic even. It was J I was worried about, my boyfriend of five years. He took it rather well considering you know that I was leaving for a year, for me, without him.

This left me with four months, with Christmas, to save up, pay off my overdraft and get my act together. Seemed like a enough time...ish. R had said when booking, "We need to be in Australia by my 23rd Birthday, I do not want to be in the UK for my Birthday." So that was that, her birthday is 4th March, so we utilised the extra day on this leap year, February 28th 2016 to fly to Hong Kong then on to Melbourne, as we were recommended by R's sister that she thought we would enjoy the vibe.

The months flew by, Christmas with the fam and J as I possibly wouldn't be spending it with them next year. January I came back to work, ill, and let my boss know that I was flying to the other side of the world and therefore would be leaving in a few months. And after that it snowballed, buying rucksacks - ones which open like suitcases rather than top packers - BEST INVENTION! Just a FYI if you are going backpacking. Packing cubes, travel towels, 100ml bottles, what shoes to take, what clothes to take, how many bikinis is too many? You know the important questions. Selling my car, packing up my room, setting up travel cards. Then came the goodbye drinks and lunches and breakfasts and so on, spending far too much considering I no longer had a job! But absolutely wonderful to see everyone before leaving.

After all the wresting with the rucksack the night before I left, I realised that this is where the heart break begins, saying goodbye to J and all my family. I had barely spent a night away from J in a year, he is and has always been my rock and something to snuggle next too, it was a quick goodbye - no fuss. Nothing can prepare you for watching the love of your life walk out your bedroom door, knowing that I wouldn't be seeing him for three hundred and sixty maybe something days.

Then came the airport rush with mum, R had already arrived with her crew and we were travelling at the speed of light it felt like to get to Gatwick airport. Dad was meeting us at the airport from work to say goodbye. Our flight was at 13:30 with Cathay Pacific. We sat at about twelve in this cafe with R and fam, then they left and it was the Wood's and R for a little while as we geared up with our final chitchat to leave. As we got to security by parents, being my parents, especially my dad taking photos of us going through as we waved goodbye, mum crying, me getting teary. And that was that, the journey was well on its way, we boarded our plane no problems and started the ELEVEN hour flight to Hong Kong - can't say I had ever been on a plane that long before. I stayed up because I wanted to try and get on Australian time, and I knew that if I slept on the next plane, when we arrived in Australia it would be morning. I did stay up, but I'm not sure if it helped! We arrived delirious and exhausted in Hong Kong for our 6 hour layover, and walked along to the nearest private lounge - there were no beds, I was gutted - however there was a shower and massage with access to the private lounge with food. Now the shower was heavenly but the massage was KWEEN pick! We then slept on these big chairs in the lounge, with really cold air con, of course we pick these seats. But there was a great view of the mountains, all I would see of the outside world of HK. Then it was time to meet B, R's friend from secondary school, she was also travelling to Australia and had the same flight from HK to Melbourne. We met her outside the gate and chatted for a while and then boarded our next nine hour flight, which I was far from looking forward too, the chairs were not comfortable at this point. And I didn't really sleep, here and there a few hours but mostly ended up watching Jane the Virgin - the TV show, ADDICTIVE much. But then came our decent into Melbourne and we had arrived in Australia...

Well hasn't life moved on...

Ok, so new chapter, its now the last day of July 2016, when did I last post January 2015 - that went well. But saying that much has changed in a year and a half, as one would expect, however I am on a whole new chapter of life and well its going quite well.

Say hello so 'Say Laura' in a whole new light. I'm going to use my platform here along with my Instagram (laurafloraa), because well I love it and it is my personal album for my year of 'F*CK what everyone else thinks', I am going to do what I want. I want to document what is happening to me when, how, where, along with any general musings, granted probably not too much beauty involved here right now, make-up-less face is gracing Australia every single damn day at the moment because a) I sweat it off, b) I'm working and no one gives two hoots and c) make up is expensive and I have no money - the same goes for fashion. 

So today I will try to be more productive and actually use my blog, because I have a voice - I just need to use it.

Till next time.. 

Positivity

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Just to keep in mind.

Life. How else to put it?

So, I love reading blogs, have done for say perhaps 3 years now, and I mean wow how it is has blown up, and it all started with people wanting to write about parts of their life, minuscule corners of the internet now gracing the pages of Vogue even, I mean talk about the big time, its inspiring.

I want to expand my life, I have spent 2015 so far looking at life (and everyone else's), what I do, where I am going and what the hell is going on. And the tru
th be told, not a lot, I am in a job that pays where I have the ability to save something, I am not in shape, no matter how many few weeks through out the year I want to be and have the motivation, and I am just...meh, I achieved a degree last year, what will it be this year? Not a good place to start one might say, being meh, while others say, you have to start somewhere, so this is it, here is my somewhere.

I can't promise I am going to be any good at blogging, I mean I did what? All of 6 posts last year? But I want to improve, I want to go up from here, I have good things in life, I have great family, boyfriend and friends - its not all doom and gloom, but improving is always on everyones minds surely? So my new years resolutions (yes 12 days late, maybe next year on time), are to be more positive, treat my body with respect, see the world a little more, lets not stumble through this year, have an end goal, enjoy it, your only young once right?

And my main goal, is to be more positive, I think I am positive, but I have negative thoughts about my body, my life, how I feel, as does everyone, but I want to be able to turn these things into good. I think if anything positivity could take you up, improve your disposition and your life will follow, so I am going to post everything and anything that takes my fancy, so as to document the change of the year (BIG THOUGHTS HERE). So expect health, positive vibes, beauty, shopping, clothes, lifestyle, videos even, anything is possible.

Heres to 2015, the change to positivity.